Like death, paying taxes is inevitable. In the case of most Americans, tax season is just around the corner. If only paying taxes was so easy.
As you begin pulling out those receipts, the eraser and reading plain English tax instructions that Einstein couldn't figure out, youre going to need a good laugh. Here you go:
1. I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half the money.
2. People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.
3. Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.
4. The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
5. Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.
6. A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.
7. Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form.
8. What's the difference between a mosquito and an IRS agent? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.
9. It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.
10. The government deficit is the difference between the amounts of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
11. Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension
12. What Mae West said about sex is true about taxes. All tax cuts are good tax cuts; even bad tax cuts are good tax cuts,
13. The federal income tax system is a disgrace to the human race. - Jimmy Carter
If nothing else, it is good to know that a former President of the United States feels the same way about taxes as you. If only someone would agree to a flat tax, millions of Americans could dispense with the aggravation and stress of filing taxes each year.
Ahhhh...The Three Stooges...Classic slapstick comedy and an American tradition. Who hasn't seen a Stooge classic film short? But, who were these men who brought their caustic brand of physical comedy into our living rooms and theaters?
We all know them as Curly, Larry and Moe, but when they first started in1922 they were with a vaudeville act called Ted Healy and his Stooges (which was originally called Ted Healy and his Southern Gentlemen).
The ensemble consisted of Ted Healy, brothers Harry Moses Howard (Moe), Samuel Howard (Shemp) and Larry Fine (Larry). In 1931, Shemp left the group for a career in feature films, and needing a third stooge, Moe suggested his brother Jerome.
Ted, not enamored with his long hair and facial hair, stated he (Jerome) was not a character like Moe and Larry. Jerome left the room and quickly returned with a shaved head and face and Curly, as we know him, was born.
In his autobiography, Moe Howard and The Three Stooges, The Stooges and Ted Healy parted company in 1934 because, as Moe recalled, of Healys abrasiveness and alcoholism. This is when they began their Columbia Pictures film career and the Three Stooges, as most of us know them, started their long journey into comedy history.
From 1934 until 1959, the Three Stooges starred in 190 film shorts; the longest such series in film history. They also appeared in a dozen movies and entertained millions throughout the world with their catch phrases, physical routines and masterful comedy.
In 1946, Curly suffered a stroke and Shemp was asked to rejoin the group. Knowing that Moe and Larry careers and the Stooges would be finished, he reluctantly agreed to rejoin the group, but only on a temporary basis.
Unfortunately, Curly never recovered and died in January of 1952.
The Stooges, with Shemp as Curlys replacement, went on to appear in 77 more short films and a feature film called Gold Raiders (1951). Additionally, in 1949, Moe, Larry and Shemp made a pilot for a Three Stooges television show called Jerks of All Trades. The show was never picked up, but the pilot is public domain and is available on home video.
The Three Stooges dynasty took another hit when Shemp Howard died of a sudden heart attack in November of 1955 at age 60. Joe Besser replaced Shemp in 1956-57, appearing in 16 short films. Interestingly, Joe had a clause in his contract specifically prohibiting him from being hit too hard, although it was lifted as time passed. Unfortunately, the market for short films and for the Stooges had passed. Columbia Pictures, the last studio still producing short films fired the Three Stooges in 1957. (Because of contractual obligations and backlogs, final Stooge shorts werent released until 1959). A new medium, television, had taken over.
The Stooges werent down for long as the rebirth of the Stooges came rather quickly. In 1959, Columbia Pictures syndicated the entire Three Stooges film library to television and the Stooges were rediscovered by the baby boomers.
Stoogemania quickly swept across the country and Moe and Larry found themselves back in the spotlight again. But Joe Bessers wife had a heart attack and he withdrew from the act, so Moe quickly signed Joe DeRita as his replacement. DeRita shaved his head and became Curly-Joe, because he looked like the original Curly.
This version of the Three Stooges went on to make 39 short films and a few full-length movies in the late 1950s and through the 1960s. In 1969 they filmed a pilot for a new TV series called Kooks Tour, which would have been a show about the retired Stooges traveling the world, with episodes filmed on location. Alas, during production, Larry suffered a stroke that ended his acting career as well as the TV series. Larry suffered another stroke in December 1974 and another month later suffered a fatal stroke and died in January 1975.
It was thought that they could carry on, several movie ideas were considered, however Moe Howard passed away in May 1975. Although Curly-Joe (Joe DeRita) did some live work with a new group of Stooges in the early 1970s, the Three Stooges, as we knew them, we gone.
This has been a synopsis of the lengthy careers and the phenomenon that was and still is the Three Stooges. With the advent of cable television, home video, dvds and with a loyal army of loyal fans, the Three Stooges are still entertaining the masses and will be for years to come.
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